I’ve recently been introduced to the idea of storytelling. This is the not the story telling that occurs around a campfire or in novel or song; no, this story telling is about the stories we tell about ourselves.
We are all story tellers, speaking to others of our defining moments, of the journeys we have taken, the sufferings we have endured. The stories we tell shape our lives, not only the past when the story occurred, but they also affect our present, and if we let them, our future.
The following is a story I have often told myself about setting goals.
As a kid I dreaded the month of January, not only was the excitement of the holidays over, but every year my teacher would assign us the dreaded “New Year’s Resolution” assignment. I hated this exercise. It felt like a waste of my time and I could rarely think of goals I wanted to accomplish, so I always put the same goals year after year. “I want to lose 5 lbs.” “I want to learn to speak Spanish.” “I want to be better organized.” These are all fine goals in and of themselves, but they weren’t the right goals for me because I never meant it. It was always another assignment to get through. As the years went by and I had the same goals each year that I had still not accomplished from the year before my story became “I hate goal setting. I’m not any good at it. I can’t follow through.”
I’ve carried this story with me into adulthood. I dreaded employee performance reviews, not because my performance was bad, but because they always asked the same question: “What are your goals for the upcoming year?” Since I’d told myself for so many years that I wasn’t good at achieving my goals, I always set the bar very low, so that I knew I would reach it. I never wanted to try for something that would be a stretch for fear of not being able to accomplish it.
Since becoming a Life Coach I’ve given a lot of thought to the idea of goal setting. How could I as a Life Coach help other people move forward with their lives and ask them to set goals for themselves, I couldn’t do it for myself. Intellectually I understood the importance of goal setting and how powerful it can be, but I just wasn’t comfortable with using this tool myself, so I set about to change my story.
Today I received a great gift that has helped me to change my story about goals. During the course of a conversation about my energy levels I had with a woman I’ve known for a few years she told me, “Alison, when you set yourself a goal, it is like you are standing in Virginia and you cast out your anchor all the way to California, and then you proceed to drag yourself down the line to your goal. You have such strong energy when you set a goal for yourself no wonder you are tired.” This was such a gift because this person did not know I’d been wrestling with the concept of goals, nor of the story I’d been telling myself. Seeing what I’ve done with my live from her perspective helped me overcome my previous story about setting goals and my ability to achieve them. It gave me the opportunity to look back on what I have accomplished with my life so far and to realize that I have achieved my goals, the difference is, I achieved the goals I set because I wanted to set them, not because someone though I should.
My new story goes something like this…
When I set my heart on a goal, I put all my energy into completing that goal until I have achieved it. For me, goals worth achieving come from the heart, not the head.
This new story feels so much more empowering than the old story that was holding me back from reaching for what I really want because I didn’t think I could get it. Now I know the truth, I am as powerful as I choose to be.
What is your story? Does it hold you back from achieving greatness or propel you forward?
