It’s been two and a half years since I did the craziest, most wonderful thing for myself. I’ve been reflecting on this time in my life, remembering how it felt to be in the flow, seeing everything around me for the first time, simply by being open to possibilities. I’ve settled into a routine since all the changes have happened, but I want to remind myself what it felt like to be in a space of infinite possibilities instead of the restricted place of routines that become ruts.
This is a story about having faith in the Universe.
I was born and raised in Phoenix, Arizona. Growing up my relatives were scattered all over the country and I envied my friends who had close relationships with local relatives. I always thought I would stay in Phoenix when I was an adult to raise my family there so my kids could be close to their grandparents. Funny how life has a different way of turning out.
Labor Day weekend 2005 I visited a friend who had moved to Portland the year before. We toured the city and surrounding area for four days. On the last day of the weekend we drove out to the Columbia River Gorge stopping at Multnomah Falls on the way. We walked a little ways up the path that winds around the falls and I stopped to catch my breath and enjoy the scenery. I sat by the edge of the trail and closed my eye to feel the place and I distinctly heard and felt “Welcome Home”.
I took that memory back to Phoenix with me, always keeping that idea buried in the back of my mind, never telling anyone what happened. Something had shifted for me during that weekend. Prior to th that trip when arriving back in Phoenix I would have a sense at homecoming. From that day on, whenever I flew into SkyHarbor airport, I felt like I was being dragged back to the desert. Phoenix no longer felt like home. At odd moments I would find myself looking at apartments in the Portland area instead of whatever else I should have been done online. All the time I was saying, I’ll always live in Phoenix. I love it here. I lived in denial for several more years.
In the fall of 2006 I attend a book signing at Changing Hands Bookstore for Laura Alden Kamm, an amazing medical intuitive that I had seen and had classes with. I asked her about some trouble I’d had with a meditation script she recommended. She answered my question quickly, but then looked at me and said, “Sweetie, pack your stuff you are not staying in Phoenix.” In that moment I was transported back to the moment at the falls and I knew what she meant. I had two close friends in the audience that night and after the talk was over we went out to dinner and I announced I was moving to Portland. Needless to say they were floored.
I wish I could say that I stayed with my conviction of that moment, but again I waffled, letting myself doubt what I knew to be true. I had finally accepted that I was leaving Phoenix, but I still didn’t fully believe I was bound for Portland, just somewhere north and west of Phoenix. I asked any psychic I knew where I would be moving and when, trying to get a handle on the change that was rapidly approaching.
After working with a Life Coach I had convinced myself the Bay Area would be nice since I had friends in the area. In May 2007, I went for a weekend to visit the city and look at apartments, and even met with a head hunter. The best part of that trip was confirmation that I was not supposed to be in the bay area. From that point on I decided to listen to my heart…Portland it was. Now I just had to screw up the courage to do it. In the fall of 2007 I ran into Laura Alden Kamm at the Celebrate Your Life conference in Scottsdale, AZ. She took one look at me and said, “What are you still doing here?” I replied, “I’m not ready to go yet.”
In May of 2008, when the lease on my apartment was up I decided I really wanted to do this. I moved in with a friend of mine so that I wouldn’t be tied to a lease when the time came and began job searching in the Portland market in earnest. I figured with would be a month or two max and then I’d be on my way!
The months dragged on with no responses to my resumes. By the end of the year I decided I’d had enough waiting and decided to go as soon as I wrapped up one last project, which was scheduled for mid-January. It then got pushed to mid-February. When I go the notice that my hearing was postponed again, this time until August, I decided I was done waiting.
President’s Day weekend 2009 I flew to Portland to spend the weekend looking for an apartment. I spent all weekend driving around the city looking at various apartments. Towards the end of the weekend I wondered across the Columbia into Vancouver, WA and looked at a few more place. At the third place I looked I felt in my gut that I had found my new home. I spoke with the rental agent and flew back to Phoenix to quit my job.
The following day at work my boss came to speak with me about a project I’d been working on and I asked him to close the door. I told him I was putting in my two week’s notice and was moving to the Portland area. He asked if that was a joke. I said no and promptly burst into tears. Perhaps not one of my more professional moments, but it was one of the hardest things I had ever done. Not only was I leaving the security of my job, but I’d been with the company for 6 years and had made many friends. He asked if I had a job waiting for me. I said no, I’d been searching with no luck, but it was something I needed to do. It was my dream. I suggested to him that I would be open to working long distance, since most of what I did could be done from anywhere. He promptly took me up on my offer, just pending clearance from the President of the company. I asked him to let me speak to her because I had been hired six years ago to be her assistant and I wanted to tell her myself.
Waiting until she got back into the office on Friday was nerve-wracking. I knew I was finally making the move either way, but to have a job already lined up would be fantastic. Friday finally came and she gave me the green light, although both of us cried in the meeting. I felt so supported by the universe in this journey.
As I said good bye to friends and family during that time I received many comments about how brave I was - if only they had known how long I had agonized over the decision. One friend said how she could never leave her home, to which I replied, “I’m not leaving home, I’m going home.”
On Monday, March 2, Mom and I packed my car and headed out of town. We took a leisurely trip, stopping to sight see along the way and visit with friends in Sacramento. We rolled into Portland on March 9. I was home!
I was unbelievably blessed, but knew my work was still cut out for me. I had lost touch with the friend that has moved to Portland, so I knew no one in my new home. I made a point to get out in the evenings, signing up for classes, trying to find a church, anything I could do to connect with other people. I remember St. Patrick’s Day, thinking I’m going to go out tonight at actually sit at the bar to eat, instead of finding a quiet booth somewhere. I went to the local Friday’s and sat at the bar. A few stools down was an older gentleman and by the end of the evening we were having a very pleasant conversation. When I mentioned that I worked from home he said he did too and that he often came out to Friday’s after work for company and invited me to join him if I needed someone to talk to. I believe his direct quote was, “Like a bad Vegas act, I’m here most nights.” It had to be one of the cheesiest lines ever, but a few nights later I went back because I had enjoyed our talk. By the middle of summer I was engaged to that sweet man, and just a few weeks shy of my one year anniversary of moving to the great Pacific Northwest, we were married.
I moved to the Pacific Northwest because of a calling – a conviction deep in my soul that it was where I was supposed to be. I never imagined how full my life would be as a result of my courage to make the change. By being in the flow, trusting in the Universe and being open to new possibilities I got so much more than I could have anticipated, all because I said “Yes” when the universe asked me to move. I was by far the most difficult thing I have ever done, but also the most rewarding.
