When I lived in Arizona, I wore many hats: student, friend, mentor, daughter, employee, leader. I slipped easily into many of these roles without giving them much thought about who I was in relationship to these roles or if they best served me.
The last three years of my life have changed that perspective. During these last three years I’ve made so many changes in my life that I am left wondering who I am. While all the changes have been positive and largely self-induced (except one, but really that turned out to a blessing too) they still leave me wondering what became of the person I was and who is the person I am now versus the person I was. What is it that defines me?
I’m coming up on the third anniversary of the single craziest thing I’ve done and the thing that started this whole ball rolling…my big cross-country move, leaving behind the only life I’d known and trusting that I would be okay. This was an exciting time because it was like getting a clean slate. I got to try different activities that would have been out of my comfort zone. I felt like no one here knew who I was and so there were no limits or predefined values about what I was supposed to do or be. During time I became Alison the independent adventurer.
A year later came another life changing event. Just a few weeks shy of the anniversary of my move I got married to the love of my life. Along with this change in status came a change in name. I would see my new name in writing and it would look so strange. I would do a double take and wonder to myself “I wonder who is Alison Bradley?” I became Alison the wife.
A few months later and yet another change. I lost a job I had held for over 7 years. It had been my first job post-college and it left me floundering for a bit. Suddenly I had to figure out what it is I wanted to do for a living again. The process of job-hunting in a tough market gave me a sense of satisfaction and was a marked change from my job search after college. I had confidence in myself and what I brought to the table. I was Alison the go-getter!
2011 brought new changes and new titles....Alison the organizer, Alison the facilitator, Alison the Life Coach. With each new change comes a stronger sense of self, of purpose.
In a few short months I will be redefining myself once again as I get the new title of Mom. A few weeks ago I was going through a book I received as a child and it had my name written in it. It occurred to me that my child would never know that person. I’m no longer the person I was, yet not knowing how my child will see me. How will this new adventure change how I define myself? Who do I want to be for my child? What examples will I set? Who will I be this time around?
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